Consensual Families

This past weekend, I was discussing with my parents that I wished for someone to stay home and watch my brother, who has autism, when we go to move me out to my new place of residence. It had been bothering for some time because I have always had a hard time speaking my opinion on subjects with my parents…and just for this reason. My parents had encouraged me to speak my mind about how I thought we should do it. I felt that my mother could stay home with my brother and my dad could come with me to help me get stuff into the house, being that my mom for the most part would not have been able to help much anyway, or not as much as my dad at least. However, when I stated my opinion, I was immediately faced with opposition. My mom insisted that her and my brother go as well, disregarding my opinion. My mother and I got into a little conflict, then I was later on confronted by my father. He told me that I need to just let go of the idea and let my mother and brother come, regardless if it wasn’t the best situation. He explained that I need to do this so there is not tension and it is an “enjoyable experience for everyone”, which I don’t think it will be if they were to come. I realized after reading this chapter that my family is a consensual family, one that is characterized by high levels of conformity and conversation orientation (McCornack 336). My parents expected me to speak my mind, but afterwards regardless of how I felt, they wanted me to do just as they wished. My dad exhibiting that I need to just let my mother and brother come to make sure there are no issues shows that he wishes to keep unity with this obedience.This past weekend, I was discussing with my parents that I wished for someone to stay home and watch my brother, who has autism, when we go to move me out to my new place of residence. It had been bothering for some time because I have always had a hard time speaking my opinion on subjects with my parents…and just for this reason. My parents had encouraged me to speak my mind about how I thought we should do it. I felt that my mother could stay home with my brother and my dad could come with me to help me get stuff into the house, being that my mom for the most part would not have been able to help much anyway, or not as much as my dad at least. However, when I stated my opinion, I was immediately faced with opposition. My mom insisted that her and my brother go as well, disregarding my opinion. My mother and I got into a little conflict, then I was later on confronted by my father. He told me that I need to just let go of the idea and let my mother and brother come, regardless if it wasn’t the best situation. He explained that I need to do this so there is not tension and it is an “enjoyable experience for everyone”, which I don’t think it will be if they were to come. I realized after reading this chapter that my family is a consensual family, one that is characterized by high levels of conformity and conversation orientation (McCornack 336). My parents expected me to speak my mind, but afterwards regardless of how I felt, they wanted me to do just as they wished. My dad exhibiting that I need to just let my mother and brother come to make sure there are no issues shows that he wishes to keep unity with this obedience.

This image reminds me of a consensual family because the child seems to be confronted about a situation where he is being forced to adhere to their rules and opinions. 

References:

McCornack, Steven. “Reflect & Relate: an introduction to interpersonal communication.” 4thed., Bedford/St. Martins, 2016.

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